Not all couples have the same taste in music and your music choice is not a relationship deal-breaker. The kind of music you listen do does say a little something about where you are at and what you are feeling about life.
Music is Part of Being Human
Music isn’t just part of our culture, it is part of being human. It exists in every culture across the planet and starts from the time babies realize they can make sound. We love music. Music activates emotions and moves energy. It expands our creativity and gives us another way to communicate, express and grow. The music we choose to listen to, the music that just “shows up” in our heads and the songs we hum or sing (whether in the shower or not) tell a story about us.
Change Your Music, Change Your Mood
The University of Missouri did a study on music and found that people can actually change their moods simply by changing the music they are listening to. While most of us already knew that, it is good to see it scientifically proven too, right? It works! The pursuit of happiness can be assisted by choosing upbeat, happier music into your day. If this works for you, it works for your partner too. Want to have a happy home? Include happy music as part of your daily time. Want to increase your fun and intimacy a bit? Dance around the kitchen together with happy music playing. Playing and music are a great combination!
But, here is a word of caution. If happy music can increase your mood, you also need to know that sad music can bring you down. As a therapist assessing where my clients are spending much of their emotional time, I like to ask about their playlist of music. People suffering through a break-up or feeling depressed will show a preference for sad music. Likewise, people going through a frustrating experience in life, will resonate more with angry music rather than joyful or relaxing music.
Like Energy Attracts Like Energy
What is the lesson here? Like energy attracts like energy. Music is energy. What energy are you surrounding yourself with? What energy do you want to have around you? What energy do you want your relationship to be surrounded by? Get your playlist out of “most listened to” and let’s take a look.
Music has been used for centuries to restore energy, improve mood and even help the body heal in a more natural way. It has been used to tell stories, to preserve culture, to connect people on an emotional level and bond them together. It is used to mark significant events in our lives (the wedding march and the National Anthem both come immediately to mind for me).
Music is also used as a therapeutic model. Music therapy is defined by the American Music Therapy Association as “the clinical and evidence-based use of music interventions to accomplish individualized goals.” In short, music matters and is powerful enough to be used as emotional medicine! We know this intrinsically as well, just ask any teenager who plays their music loud – chances are they aren’t playing it too loud for the purpose of bothering anyone else (even if it does) they aren’t just playing it loud to bother (even if it does) or to get noticed (even if they do). Loud music moves energy through us and we become part of it. That kind of vibration moves us around and unblocks emotions.
Music Unblocks Emotions
Adults can do this too. We do this with soft music in the meditation or massage room. And now there is a new way to do this too. If you are in the Phoenix area, here is something for you to check out: Peaceful Spirit Enrichment Center. A dear friend of mine (and one of my top trusted health practitioners) has a sound table at her enrichment center. It is the only one in Phoenix and it is nothing short of amazing. I was lucky enough to be one of the first people to try it out and this is now a regular part of my self-care.
I love music. Music opens my creativity and relieves tension. It realigns my energy and makes a super easy transition for me from my usual very cerebral over-thinking mind to a relaxed meditative state where healing happens. In the music table session, you simply lay down on a special hand-crafted (and comfortably cushioned) wooden table in the calm and private room. You close your eyes and relax and Melanie plays piano strings attached to the table and the music fills the room. The music travels through the table and through your body and you, quite simply, become part of the instrument. Your thoughts calm down. Your nervous system relaxes. You are brought completely into the present moment. This kind of mindfulness supports research that says that meditative, present-moment practices can lengthen the end caps of your DNA strands (telomeres). Longer telemores are correlated with both longevity and quality of life. Yes, there is science behind this (makes my analytical/overly-cerebral side happy). It is transformational. I hope you try it and find out for yourself.